Homesick : (

The last two weeks have had more downs than ups.  I have been blessed to have not come to a time where I really didn't want to be here...although I still haven't hit that place, these past two weeks have been the closest.   My dislike isn't for Chna, its just that I miss home : (   The shame of it is that I am at a site that has a ton to do and I feel like I'm living under a dark cloud, I've never been less motivated to work than I have been these past two weeks.  

During this time I've had two revelations... one is that I am incredibly blessed to have a family that my hurt longs to be with.  We go into an orphng here and seeing all of those kids without families is really depressing.  There is a lot to be sad about in this world but seeing kids lonely is the hardest for me.  I can't even imagine not having a family to love me, protect me from harm, rejoice with, grieve with etc.  But that is the reality for these kids.... I hate seeing it, I can't even imagine living it.  

My second relelation was the reality of our Heavenly Father and brothers and sisters in Him.  Sometimes when life gets lonely we let the lie that we are alone feel true.  We're never without a familiy... we have a father whose love for us is perfect and eternal.  We also have brothers and sisters all over the world.  My nephew was born about two weeks ago and that week I was craving holding him.  That Sunday during a meeting there was a little baby that was fussing... the mom has nine kids so I offered to take the baby.  He fell alseep on me and I remembered that I do have family here.  I'm surrounded by foreigners who are also away from home.  They miss their parents, sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews just as I do.  While we are not blood relatives, we have all been adopted into His family and are therefore family forever : )   

Thanks G0d for not only being my comforter, but for sending my brothers and sisters in you to hold me while I'm here.