Scatting Across Asia

Oh the things that we remember from childhood... In 6th or 7th grade we went to a nature reserve as a field trip.  For the life of me, I can't remember where it was or what we did... all that I remember was the chant that we learned about the scientific name for poop... This chant was memorable because it referred to a swear word which shocked my sweet, sheltered heart!  The chant went like this "It starts with an "s" and ends with a "t," but lets not call it that, lets be scientific and call it "scat."  

No travel blog in Asia would be complete with AT LEAST one conversation about the bathroom situation.   It's too entertaining not to share : )  I feel as though I have experienced, or at least heard of, every possible bathroom situation imaginable.  The general rules are this... unless it's starbucks, it will be a "squatty potty," there will be no toilet paper so bring your own and perhaps there will be a sink but no soap.  The variation in "squatty potties" is shocking.  The ones in a nicer home or in downtown will flush, making them fairly clean... One other important fact, you can NEVER flush toilet paper.  It will clog the toilet and so it has to be thrown in a trashcan (think about this... its kind of gross what is going on in that garabage can... sorry but I have to say this... especially in the womens bathroom... There seems to be a national movement against despising of famine hygiene products in a sanitary way).

 

With Chns billions upon billions of people, the cleanliness of the bathroom is directly related to two questions...1.  Does the toilet flush? and 2. Has anyone taken out the garbage in the past week?  So the best toilet situation is Starbucks because they have a western toilet, it flushes and they take out the garabage.  Initially I was naive enough to think that cleanliness was the only factor in determining the acceptability of a bathroom.... I quickly learned that privacy is actually more important to me.  I have something against peeing in public which has served me well in the states but has lead to anxiety or the urge to "hold it" on really long bus trips in Asia.  Sooo, classifying bathrooms gets tricky, its almost a matter of personal choice about what's most important... Cleanliness, privacy or conscientiously about the environment (I'll explain this more later).  

So here are some sample bathroom situations:  One popular option is a long ditch that reaches all the way across the bathroom with stalls along the ditch.  Some of these have water running through them to wash away the waste and other ones don't.  If it's one with water, don't go in the last stall because that's where all of the scat (heehee) settles.  Then there is the terrifying situation where no one feels the need to put up stall walls or stall walls on all sides.  So you are basically doing your business with an audience... I especially hate this situation and will do almost anything to avoid it... unfortunately these are common in the bathrooms at rest stops along bus routes.  When you are on a 15 hour bus ride, your privacy loses the battle.  Then there is the moving transportation (train and boat) issue.  This is where your environmental issues arise... there is just a hole and everything dumps right onto the track or, as was the case on a boat in Cambodia, into the water (Cambodia has a serious issue with diseases transmitted through dirty water... I now know why).  Here is another classification system that gets tricky... there was the toilet that I used at a Tbtn home in the countryside.... it was a hole on the mountainside... no walls or anything... you can gaze at the mountains as you do your business.  It's actually cleaner because the sun dries everything up so fast but how terrifying if someone drives by!  When I used this bathroom, I realized that I could clearly see our teams car.  Before I went, I told one of the other girls to make sure that none of the men go to the car to get anything.  I can eat rice, speak a couple of Chns words, but using the bathroom in public will NEVER be something I'll get used to!  Then there is the village toilet that I have heard talk of and seen pictures of but never experienced on my own.... there is a pig that is below the hole and eats the waste... I think I just threw up in my mouth!  It's envronmentally friendly and in line with the circle of life, but WHAT!  

I have a defeat and success story to share... when I was on the bus I had to use one of the ones that has three sides but no door. I really had to go so I convinced myself that I would go quickly and that it's not like anyone is interested in watching me pee.  I forgot one truth... people in the countryside are always interested in everything that a blonde girl is doing.  So as Im doing my thing a grandma and another women stop right in front of me and point at me and say something... here is where the success story comes... they said a whole sentence in Chns and I understood it!  Here is the defeat, the sentence was "your bag is falling into the toilet."  It was just the strap of my backpack so I could wash it, but how awkward to have a conversation with someone while using the toilet in public!  Chn never ceases to shock me which is half the fun I guess...

So my search contiues for the worst toilet situation in Asia... what is more important... cleanliness,  privacy, envronmental impact?  Soul searching questions that never cross my mind at home that's for sure!!!  Oh Chn, how I love thee!